So there I was, sitting at my computer, and I saw this link to "The Plaid Frog," my sadly neglected blog. I pointed out to myself that I hadn't written anything in quite some time, so maybe it'd be nice to check in.

Here I am. Nothing as momentous as what I wrote before has been going on recently. A couple of months back I joined a different online dating site and started corresponding with a few guys, spending most of my time talking to someone we'll call...Buddha. Buddha was a spiritual guy (hence the moniker) and therefore interesting in that right. The really odd thing about Buddha was that he was a founder/CEO of a company which I later found out was quite large. 200+ employees. Wow. You might think that this would be a major turn-on to a working-class girl like myself. As it happens, you'd be wrong. I found myself increasingly uncomfortable talking with him as he casually mentioned the million he'd spent on this or that. I might have been able to overlook his vast wealth (irony?) if it weren't for the fact that I just wasn't getting the right vibe with him. He was spiritual, but not really my kind of spiritual. I don't know. I guess you had to be there. I never even met him in person before I told him that I didn't think it was gonna work.

A couple of weeks after that I sent an e-mail to Aardvark. (You remember Aardvark?) Just sort of sending out feelers and seeing what was up with him. He's a nice guy and I wouldn't mind going to karaoke again with him sometime. He very politely responded that he'd 'met someone' and was with her now, but that he'd be very happy to introduce me to his karaoke buddies so that I could expand my social circle. Didn't I say he was a nice guy?

(Just recently he broke up with that woman and evidently it was ugly. I feel sorry for him, but I hope he'll come to see that it was his rebound relationship and that as bad as it was, he's gotten that out of the way. My rebound relationship was useful. I hope for the best for him.)

Hmm, what else? In the past few months they've hired a lot of new people at work. I sort of have a manager (whom I refer to as "my troll"--not just here on the blog where people get code-names, but in real life) and he's my least favorite. All the other fellas have something good to recommend them. I'm quite partial to a couple of them, and I think that they enhance the working team as well as being great guys to know.

With the advent of my troll I've been able to move into the inventory department of the company rather than customer service, and I really enjoy that work a lot. I spend half the day filling parts orders and the other half collecting parts for bikes that are going to be built. I spend most of the time working with Rita (my mentor, mentioned earlier) and Donald, of both of whom I'm very fond. Donald has just had surgery on his leg, so I've been attempting to cover for him while he's gone. He's probably the hardest-working person in the company and everything depends upon him, so his is a hard job to cover. I miss him so much! ;-) Not just because nobody can do the job like him, but because he's such a great guy and I miss having him around.

My kids are excited about Christmas. They're such greedy little gits. But now that I know that they've heard of--and believe in--Santa Claus, I'm trying to sort of hint to them that it might pay for them to be good. Hey, anything that'll work. My financial situation should be better this year than last year, so I hope to be able to buy them presents and a tree. Last year it was home-made presents and no tree.

Nickel Creek is coming to town in a couple of weeks, playing at the McDonald Theater. I am so there. I hope they'll be playing in the lounge, which is cozy and has good accoustics, rather than the big theater room, which is ugly, has no seats, and horrible accoustics. I don't know of anyone in my circle who's into bluegrass music. Maybe I'll do a quick survey of my coworkers next week and see if anyone wants to go. If not, I'll just go by myself. I also want to see the Nutcracker this year. Never have before. I've got Ted tentatively set to go with me to that, but I refuse to subject either him or myself to the torment of taking him to see Nickel Creek. He'd hate it and make me sorry for it, I'm sure!

So, that brings us up to date. TTFN.

I'd planned to take a nice, long bike ride today. I was going to do the same loop I did last week, but in the other direction. I wanted to see if I could do better than the 2 hours precisely that it took me to do it last week. I had pretty high hopes about it because I've been riding a lot (for me) this week. I'd not only practiced riding up hills--and have I mentioned recently that I hate hills?--but this week I'd also realized that I tend to space out and slow down. I was going to try to do better at that.

The ride started out well. I left the house at 7:55, grinding along quite a bit faster than before. I didn't even waste too much time being irritated with myself for planning a long ride after only about 3 hours of sleep. I rode well up the "baby hills" on Bailey Hill, and then headed up the stinking, filthy, rotten steepest part of Bailey Hill, consoling myself by thinking evil thoughts about it, and firmly resolving to kick my friends repeatedly in the shins the next time they threatened to make me ride up any of the bigger hills in town. "@%&# hills!" I was thinking, as I pulled on the handlebars and forced myself up that stinker--in the middle chainring, as I find it particularly vexatious to try to spin up hill. (And yes, the above is a direct quote. I don't have a large vocabulary of vulgarities, but I find that it's very helpful to emulated Yosemite Sam's "sackin frackin rackin varmint"-style tirades.)

I made it to the top and stopped to catch my breath. Which is a more suave way of saying that I stopped to suck down copious amounts of water and wait for my panting to subside to the point where I could once again hear traffic over the sounds of my own wheezing. I was not done cursing at the hill, but I was looking forward to the WHEEEEEEEEE!!! down the other side.

Alas, it was not to be.

When I started moving again I realized that a small portion of the discomfort I'd been feeling on my way up was due to the fact that I was riding on my rear rim. I got off to pump up the tire, but it doesn't take a lot of smarts to realize when you can hear air gurgling and rushing out as you pump, that you've got a fairly sizeable hole in your tire. Since the road--and therefore my tire--was wet, I had no trouble finding the hole. A big chunk of glass had embeded itself in one of my treads and happily cozied its way inside. Granted, I was shamefully ill-prepared for a flat, but that hole would have caused trouble for me even if I'd been better prepared.

So I took off my helmet, turned around and started walking back the way I'd come. I was kind of bummed that I slogged up that thrice-blasted hill and missed out on the WHEEEEEEEEE!!, but I'm pretty good at looking at the bright side. I saw a lot of pretty scenery at my preferred pace and had a good chance to cool down. I had a lot of time to think about things. I had missed out on my ride but got a good walk. Don't tell my cycling nut friends, but I actually prefer a walk to a bike ride. This was a pretty long walk, of course, but at least I was wearing fairly normal shoes rather than cycling shoes.

Eventually I got back to work, which is on the way home, and stopped to drop off my bike. I'd been considering changing the tire there and maybe doing a bit of tinkering on my bike and Corby's tag-along, but by the time I got there I just wanted to be done with the thing and go home. That mission accomplished, I grabbed my coat from my office and finished the walk without my pet bike.

I got home at 9:55. Precisely 2 hours after I left.

Life is so odd.

Yesterday I got my bike set up with new bar-con shifters and sexy Nitto Moustache bars. The shifting seems to be a lot easier. I’m going out for my first real ride today. I plan to take the bike path out as far as it goes. Does it go to Fern Ridge yet? That’ll be neat. The weather report says cloudy and upper sixties, so I hope it won’t rain on me. I’m wearing Gaylynn’s gift of “starter shorts.” I’ve never ridden in bicycling shorts before, and that extra bit of padding feels really weird. I’m tempted to stop in at work and get some extra tubes and stuff, but I haven’t been able to decide if I want to show my face (or, more to the point, my ass) in this silly getup. I’m completely out of food here at home, so I had a hard time finding something to eat for breakfast. Usually I’d skip it, but I think today I’m going to need the calories. I found a can of pears and ate that. Things to remember before I go: fill water bottle, bring ID so if I get killed the police will know who I am. I really wonder if I’ll be able to make it out to Fern Ridge. I’m also wondering what kind of interesting excuses I’ll make for myself if I don’t. I really REALLY hope I don’t get a flat, because that’ll be a long walk home. Maybe I should bring the pump even though I don’t have spares or a patch kit. With any luck it’ll be a slow leak and I can just stop every few minutes and pump it again. Such luxury. I want a computer—another reason to want to stop in at work—but I sort of feel like I should earn one. Seems a little bit conceited at this point. But I’m curious to find out how far I go. Not really curious to find out how FAST I go (read: how SLOW I go) but I will eventually. Maybe if I ride faithfully for a certain amount of time, a computer will be my reward.

Ok, time to go. Found my ID, filled my water bottle, got my pump on the back (where will I put my keys?) Outside putting it all together, I felt a few drops of rain. Perhaps rain will be my interesting excuse. I’m kind of scared. Here goes…

---

2 hours later

I’m back! And I’m still alive! Just barely. Most important thing I learned on this ride: bring 2 water bottles. (Also, one can of pears is NOT enough to eat before a ride.) Partway through I ran out of water. I’d already gone beyond the dehydration headache and could feel the dehydration in my shoulders and quads. Owie. As it happens, the bike path does NOT go all the way to Fern Ridge. It goes as far as Greenhill Road and then follows Greenhill up to right about where the Humane Society is. So I went that far and then hopped off onto the road. Went up to 11th and on across the street to follow Crow Road through my old stomping grounds. This was kind of an idea I’d had floating through my head when I was trying to decide where to go, but I wasn’t sure because of the hills. And boy, were there hills! There must have been at least 600 of them. On the first hill, the one I used to ride over every day in high school on my way to work, I was concentrating on shifting so I was sort of able to ignore the hill. On the second hill, I was trying to decide if I ought to turn around and go back the way I came. On the third hill, the one just beyond my old house, I was thinking that it’s good I didn’t turn around and trying to decide if I should take Gimpl Hill, which is shorter and way hillier, or continue on Pine Grove Road, which is longer (and really hilly, just not as steep.) On the remaining 596 hills, I became increasingly crabby. I tried to distract myself from how difficult the climbs were by naming aloud the types of plants along the side of the road, or concentrating instead on how badly my crotch hurt. On the penultimate hill, I gave up and walked the last 50 yards to the top. That was extremely embarrassing and disheartening, but at least it’s beautiful country around there, and I got to see the trees up close. I startled a couple of huge buzzards that were skulking next to the road and got to see them fly up into the trees. I’d guess that their bodies were almost as big as my trunk, and their wings were probably at least as long as my legs. That’s pretty cool to see up close. Other animals I saw included lots of cows, horses and other farm critters (I scared a pair of horses with my noisy shifting and got to see them run away from the fence in slow motion as only horses can do), a snake on the bike path who was desperately afraid of getting killed by all the bikes and trying to pretend that it was a threat to us, various dead birds and a dead shrew. I always think that dead shrews look like they’re sunbathing. I can almost see their little bikinis. About an hour and a quarter into the ride I realized that I was kind of bored and a little bit lonely. It might be nice to find someone to ride with me, but where am I going to find someone with whom I’ll be able to keep up?! Ah, well. A few dozen more lonely training rides and maybe I’ll be quick enough to keep up with someone.

I’m proud of myself for completing my ride and not making any excuses. I think it’s kind of funny that a ride that lasted exactly 2 hours (to the minute) was probably about the same route that the people from work take on their lunchtime ride—their ONE HOUR lunchtime ride. But it’s still a good start. I learned a lot about my bike and got more comfortable on it.

About this zingy person. He and I planned to go to a karaoke party at his friends' house last night. I was kind of looking forward to it because I don't really know this person (we'll call him...Aardvark) very well, and he seems like someone I might like to know. On the other hand, the weather had changed and I was sort of feeling like being a homebody. (If you don't see what those two things have in common, then you're probably not me.)

While I was still at work (yep, I work Saturdays. Bummer.) my mentor happened to come in. We'll use her real name, which is Rita, because she's awesome and I'll never have to say anything mean about her. When I said she was my mentor, I meant in a work type of way; at my job we all have to choose mentors who've been there a while. But Rita's also my mentor in all things love because like me, she gets "feelings" about people and situations. Hers, however, are stronger and since this is not her life, she's not tempted to ignore certain intuitions so that I can go ahead with something.

I told Rita--who knows Aardvark--that I had plans with him after work. She seemed a little taken aback. "Aardvark, eh?" she said.

"He's a nice man," I said.

She agreed, but still seemed to have reservations. This was odd to me, because he is a nice man, but another coworker--whom we'll call Lynette, even though that's her real name and I might be forced to say unkind things about her from time to time--had reacted similarly. Finally I cornered Rita and asked her to spill it. Like all awesome people, she didn't want to have to say anything mean about someone. (Well, all awesome people who don't have blogs don't like to say anything mean about someone.) But she finally skirted around the issue in such a way that I figured out what she wasn't saying.

Apparently, Aardvark is not as divorced as he led me to believe.

In my book, going out with a guy who's not actually divorced--even if he's planning it and is separated and blah blah blah--is Not A Good Thing. She said that she wasn't certain this was the case, but I still felt a little less comfortable about going with him. As I mentioned before, I didn't really have anything invested in these plans, so I decided to cancel. I had a headache that day, so I told him that was why I didn't want to go, but it was mostly because of being unsure about his situation. (Also because I wanted to stay home alone, also because I'm chickenshit about meeting a roomfull of new people while standing next to someone I don't really know at all.) Maybe I'll see him again in a less datelike setting and I'll casually ask him how long he's been divorced. See what he says.

<tangent> Now, you understand that when I said "zing" before, I didn't mean chemistry, right? I just meant that sparkle in a personality that makes you want to get to know them better. As opposed to people that are just boring. I don't want any hypothetical readers to think it meant luv or anything. </tangent>

In related news, Herkimer sent me a couple of e-mails today. I hadn't heard anything from him since after our underwhelming date, so I figured he'd been just as underwhelmed as I and that was the end of that. Evidently not. He'd just been busy. Not only was he not underwhelmed, he got all poetic about my eyes and my smile and said he wanted to cuddle and spoon with me. Ew! I'm not sure what I'll do about that one.

In unrelated news, I just want to rhapsodize about my new washer and dryer for a moment. I love it so! Its graceful lines! Its many buttons! Its unmatched ability to get my clothes not only cleaner, but dryer than my old funky thrift store w/d! I'm just so dang pleased to have it. *sigh* Thank you Federal Government for giving me back some of the money you've been sponging off of me so that I could own this quality piece of machinery.

Got pierced today. I should have known when I went and got my ear cartilage pierced in January that I'd be back. Today it was my eyebrow. Wanna see? It kind of hurts now, but I'm a pretty fast healer. Once it heals I'm replacing the obtrusive bar bell with a nice hoop, like I got put in my cartilage today.

Why did I do it, you ask?

The short answer is that it was sort of impulsive. I saw someone with a pierced eyebrow this morning when I stopped at a convenience store to get my essential workday soda, and I thought, "I sure like how that looks. I'm gonna get one!" It was that fast.

The long answer is...longer. I'm undergoing a lot of metamorphoses, and things like this and my earlier piercing are an example of how I'm changing, while at the same time a reminder to keep changing. Today's piercing is something I'm going to see every day when I look in the mirror (I can also sort of see it out of the corner of my eye) and you can't look at something like that and be the same old person you used to be.

Not that there was anything wrong with the person I used to be. I'd just got stuck in a rut; I was comfortable within the confines of my very narrow existence and had forgotten that there was an entire world of options and experiences to explore.

I'm a "nice" person. People have always pegged me that way, and it's an easy assumption to make because it's true. It's just not the whole truth. I think that when my black hair, red lipstick, Doc Martens and pierced eyebrow contrast with my sunny smile, giving nature and silly attitude, people will have to take at least a couple more minutes to make a judgement call about who I am.

With any luck, I will as well.

And if people think I look hot with my eyebrow pierced, that's good, too!